Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Sally Boy and The Beast

Sally Boy Kitty and The Beast (aka Hall) and the mama without her face on.

WELL WELL WELL.  What have we here?  It's time I tell y'all something that I've been dreading saying out loud to you, but that Dumpster Husband and I have been dealing with accepting for the past few months.  We are losing our boy.  We are losing our dear sweet Sally Boy Kitty. 

If you don't know the whole story of this little guy and how he came into my life RIGHT WHEN I NEEDED HIM, please take a moment to read this - Straight from Sally Boy's Big Mouth.

We were in denial for a long time when the vet told us how much weight he was losing a couple years ago and that his kidneys were in trouble.  But then he got on some meds and gained some weight and seemed to be using his 19th life.  But a few months ago, this eye thing stated happening.  You can see it above in the picture with Hall riding him bareback.....he's got a winky eye.  It's related somehow to the kidney thing and we are just doing our best to make sure he is ok and enjoying his life.

We can't be selfish anymore with him. We have to accept that he's been with us for a long time and given us such joy and for that we are so grateful.  Now, we don't have any plans yet to do anything with him, but we are listening and watching so closely to what he is telling us. He's eating a ton and acting so much like himself with his quirks and zest for life that we keep seeing he's ok for a bit longer.

But when that goes away, and we know it will, we will need to do something (please see disclaimer at the end of this post).  On my visits to Best Friends Animal Sanctuary to volunteer, I attended a seminar on Cats and loss and when to say goodbye without holding on or making it worse for your beloved fur babies.  It really changed the way I thought about all the stuff we could do to make them "feel better", when really, that's pretty selfish and more for the humans than for the fur babies a lot of the time, and it's often better to let them go with love.

We aren't there yet, but I wanted you all to know, because Sally Boy is kind of a big deal around these parts.  And he should be.  He helped me stay sober.  He helped me be a better and more responsible person right when I needed him to.  And now, he's being kind and learning about human babies and hopefully around long enough for them to learn about him. In the meantime, he gets lots of delicious wet food and treats and as much love and appreciation as we can give him for everything he's done for us. 



DISCLAIMER -  Please don't write me telling me what we should or shouldn't be doing with him as we feel confident we are doing the right thing by Sally Boy.  Respect, yo. 




66 comments:

  1. Lost my girl in 2006. Love him up. Hugs to you all. <3

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  2. As long as he still has his dignity, you're doing the right thing. Love and hugs to the whole Dumpster Clan, 2 legged and 4. ❤❤❤

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  3. Personally, I think you're doing what IS right. Loving him.

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  4. I'm a HUGE believer that we, as humans, are given a gift in that we can choose to relieve the suffering of our 4 legged friends. There are those who wish we could have that choice for humans as well (that's a whole other issue), but it's the most humane choice one can make for a pet. It's also the most selfless. You'll know when the time has come and yes, it will be terribly sad, but you'll be doing him a huge favor, and sparing him having to suffer needlessly.

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  5. You are doing what is best for Sally Boy! He knows that you will be ok and you don't need him as much anymore. Its him showing you that you are sober for good. He is letting you take care of the babies and bewbies. He will always be in your heart.

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  6. It is the hardest decision to make and you have my sympathy. I still miss my Casey cat. He was my friend and confidant while struggling to raise 3 kids with no support from their suddenly ex-father. I could complain to Casey cat and paste a smile on my face for the kids. Enjoy with Hall and Oates as long as it feels right. You are doing the wise thing.

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  7. there's nothing worse than having to make that appointment... but, oh, the joy they give us to counter that pain! i wish him many happy months and i know you'll do the right thing by him.

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  8. Healing thoughts to you and DH as you get through this...I, too, love my kitties. Scratch Sally's chin for me!

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  9. <3 that's all I have Katy. Thinking happy thoughts and sending virtual hugs to you all.

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  10. I dont know why but every post i seem to love you more ;)

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  11. My son and I had to make the same decision with one of our dogs. It was my son's dog that he got when he was five. We took him to the vet and stayed with him until his last breath - we owed him that. Just before his last breath he bit me! It was so funny. He hated me grooming him but put up with it. When he bit me it was like he was saying - BTW Screw You!

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  12. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I wanted to share a story.
    A little over a year ago our Dizzy was so sick and got to the point that we had to make the decision to have him put to sleep. He had been sick for months and we knew it was coming, but it was still so hard and I was dealing with a lot of guilt. When I got to the vet's office, where Dizzy had been living for a few days, they sent us into a room so I could say goodbye before the vet came in. I held him and cried and told him how much I loved him and then I told him that it was ok and he could leave now if he wanted to. He died in my arms a few moments later, before the vet ever entered the room. It was the greatest gift he could've given me, to do it on his own without any help. It's like he knew I needed that.
    I hope that when that day comes, however it comes, that you and Sally have a great final moment as well, whatever that may mean to you two..three...five. <3

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    1. We weren't allowed to have pets growing up so when my older brother turned 18 he and I drove out to a farm and picked up the last puppy left, a black lab named Lady. It was about a 30 minute ride home with Lady in the backseat while my brother settled on a more "manly" name for a female pup....he settled on Maxine...Max for short. Fast forward 15 years filled with the most dedicated, loving, empathetic, funny, gentle, curious, intelligent, loyal friend in Max anyone could possibly dream up. I called my brother to let him know Max suddenly was not doing well and I thought it was time. He came right over, we cuddled her, cried and called the vet for the dreaded appointment. We loaded her up in the backseat just as we had done 15 years earlier and set off for the 15 minute ride to the vet. We took a "walk down memory lane" laughed and cried and just before we got to the vets office felt very at peace. My brother parked and we leaned in the backseat to lift her out and there she was....peacefully at rest. It was very fitting we thought, going out the same way she came into our lives...car rides were always a favorite of hers. She always seemed to know exactly when we needed comfort and we were blessed once again with her final "gift" to us. My husband and I are starting to see early signs in our 2 16yr old Kitty boy brothers...I am comforted knowing Max will be there to greet them and get in much missed snuggles...cats and dogs do in fact make the best of buds sometimes!

      Hugs, peace and comfort to you and anyone in this position...

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  13. I know how you feel, I have a cat that I've had for 19 years now and he is slowly fading... It's so sad! One thing I have learned though, and please don't take this as me telling you what to do in any way shape or form, but cats like to act tougher than they feel at times. Our vet told us that cats don't like to show when they are hurting or sick, when dogs act like big babies (I have two of those also haha). You know your cat though, so of course you will know when the time is right. Thinking of you and your sweet Sally Boy!

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  14. Wow, you saved his life and in return her gave you his. So glad he met Hall and Oates before too long was up. It was obviously destiny for things to happen this way.

    What a lovely Humanimal. Reminds me of my old kitty "Puss". Puss was catbitch from Hell, stalking feet and endangering lives, especially if you dared stand of the top step inside the house. But she would come curl up on my bed every night and have her heart to heart with me all the time.
    Basically she was a house cat because before we got her she lived in a flat, upstairs and that's the way she liked things, so that's the way it stayed. Only one day she fell down the stairs and that's what caused her pain and that's why, when she came to live with us she was trying to warn people away from going up and down the stairs, for their safety, obviously.


    Miss her quite often, not the same going to my Mum's house and not being attacked at the top of the stairs like usual.

    Gosh, why do these insanely cute creatures make such a difference to our lives? o.0

    ='[ So sorry to hear about Sally Boy xx

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  15. Love to you for your kind heart and furr hugs to your boy that he stay pain free. We are blessed to have them :)

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  16. He's your lobster and he always will be. Whatever choice you make, just know you are making it for you and him and that it will be what is for the best. It's not easy, but your love for him will make it a little easier. Sorry you are dealing with this, but just know that he knows how much you love him.

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    1. You got me with the lobster reference. I didn't tear up until then.

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  17. Sort of in the same boat. My Miss Kitty has a knot on the back of her neck that I have known in my heart is a Bad Lump, but recently had its Badness confirmed. Muscle and ligament is involved so to remove it would likely leave her unable to lift her pretty little head. So, like you, I am lovin' on her as she commandeth, and watching for her to tell me when it's time. She watched me find (and grate along on) my bottom, and has been here every step of the glorious almost two years of my recovery. She is very gracious about not publicly taking credit -- but she knows. She knows.
    Praying for serenity, courage, and wisdom for you (and hell, for ME) during this heartwrenching time. Thank gods we get to feel it, right?!
    -- Janine

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  18. I'm so sorry. It's tough. I've been away from home for about 10 years now, and my dad had all the dogs at his place that I had rescued over the years. They have passed away now over the last year...It's funny but it felt like I was loosing my childhood (even tho I'm 28) anyways I wish I had been there to say goodbye. When I did visit we had fun :) Anyways, lots of love to you.

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  19. We just had to make that decision for our 13 year old pup. It was a horrible thing to have to do, but he told us that it was time. Sally Boy will let you know. Enjoy him for whatever time you have with him. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your fam. <3

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  20. I am soooo so sorry :( Our fur babies are such a special, loved part of our family units, it's never easy to make that decision, but I do agree that you should do what's best for Sally Boy and suffering is not what's best. So hard :( I'll be thinking of you. And you look fantastic all bare faced, naturally gorgeous.

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  21. No advice as you don't need any. Just sending lots of love and hugs!

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  22. Love, love, and love on him some more.....you and dh will know when it's time....and us divers will cry along with you!

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  23. I dread the day I may have to make the decision for my Iggy. He's a giant pain in the ass but I love him very much. Sally Boy has been there for you for so long, I love that you are watching for his signs telling you it's time to go. Love and hugs mama ♥

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  24. Fur babies are so special in our lives. I dread the day when my Iggy leaves me. He is a yowling pain in the ass, but he's mine. Sally Boy is lucky to have you guys, and I know how lucky you are to have had him. Many hugs and much love to you all ♥

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  25. Don't know which one o' them babies is prettier, but Sally Boy's got heart, like his mommy...

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  26. *HUGS* I love you. You are doing the right thing. Keep doing what you do...in all things & with all those you love around you. You do good.

    You're a great mama to all the kiddies there. And you do what you gotta & needta do.

    Hugs & Love & *MUWAHS* & stuffs!

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  27. I am so sorry! My family got a cat when I was born (for my 7yr old sis, who hated me for taking over her spot as the baby). I loved Callie for 21 years before we had to relieve her of her pain. No kitty will ever replace her and I still think about her all the time, even after 8 years!

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  28. holy crap, you have Sally Boy, we have sonny Boy..no lie thats his name, thy could be twins, this weekend we were at the vet with him, its hard, hard, hard to see them sick, and you can only guess what they want, Mine needed only a tooth extracted, but Doc says 18 pounds is a bit much so we will diet together. My son is 2 and he was a wreck seeing Sonny go through pain this weekend, it was awful for us all, I dread the day to come as well he is 12, much love to your family Katy :)

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  29. Crying for your sweet little family. It's so hard seeing our pets age and get sick. They are indeed family and fill such a big place in our hearts and lives. Had to say goodbye to my 15 year old sheltie in October and just collapsed as soon as I got out the door to the vet's office from grief. Our deep sadness and grief is a testament to how much they are loved by us and how special they are. I hope you all have lots of happy moments together and I'll be thinking of you. Hugs.

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  30. Oh, Little Sally-B. We're getting there with our dog, too. It's weird to be watching your pet that closely to see when to put them down, isn't it? Big smooches to you, and Sally makes a fine horse for those babies.

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  31. Did anyone else have a heart attack from the first few sentences? I'm sorry but for a split second I thought you were talking about one of the babies, even though I know that makes no sense that you would write about it like that... it was just a split second but I think I popped a blood vessel in my temple and I might have a heart condition now.

    I am very sorry your sweet kitty is sick, though... I've had dogs all my life and lost several. It really really SUCKS big time, because they truly become part of the family. I'm so happy for you that you've had the good fortune to have him in your life, and that he has meant so much to you.

    Sending love your way...

    PS - Is it an inappropriate time for me to tell you that you look unfairly fantastic without makeup?

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  32. I am so sorry to hear of this. My mom is going through a rough time with her pug Millie. Millie is 9 and has a great life and is still going strong, but we know at some point she will have to let her go with love. I can't even think of having to deal with this type of situation with any of my furr-babies without getting all verklempt. Good luck to you and yours with this emotioal situation. He is a beautiful boy. :)

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  33. I lost my boy from kidney disease in 2004, after having him for 18 years. I was there when he was born and I held him in my arms when I had no choice but to put him down. He will be in my heart forever.

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  34. Such a hard thing to go through. I lost my Libby in August to cancer. I adopted her when she was 4. A year later I found the lump on her mammary gland. We did two surgeries and I wouldn't put her through any more. Then I found another lump. The doc said she had 2 more months but she lasted another year and a half. Having her was the best 3 years I've ever had with a fur baby. she came into my life when I needed her and she stuck by my side through all of it. You'll know when it's time. I did. I actually delayed it by a day because i had a wedding to go to. And I felt so sad for her. But she's in a better place and laughing at me with my new kittens I have and how they keep me up all night. Sally Boy will have good company with my Libby. That I can promise you.

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  35. It's one of the hardest things to do. It's never easy to lose a member of the family. Huggins to you and the rest of the clan.

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  36. I'm sorry sweetie. I work for an animal foundation, and I love my kitties more than I even like most humans. I've been through this with a few pets now, but I wouldn't give up having pets for anything or anyone in the world. Sally Boy is very lucky to have such a loving family. Hang in there!

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  37. He will tell you when it is time, and you will listen. It's so hard to lose the pets who picked us humans up and carried us when we most needed it. Sending my love to you all. xo

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  38. My Cosmo Kitty who is going to be 17 has the same health problem. NO eye wink yet but she since she is a "talker" we cannot be sure if she is just being herself or if she is in pain. I completely whole heartily understand what you are going through. Sending love and courage your way!

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  39. Our Cosmo Kitty who is going to be 17 in July, has the same health issues. Just no wink, yet. She is not gaining weight but eating like a horse, she maybe 7 lbs now. The vet thinks she is still determined to stay around so we are having our laughs, loves, and sleep time cuddles still. She is a "talker" so we cannot tell if she is in pain which is heart breaking sometimes. I whole heartily understand what you are going through and thank you for sharing your story. I just want to keep her around forever.

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  40. I had a dog like that. I found him right before I found out I was pregnant and while I was at the hospital he ran off but here was there the whole time like my guardian doggy

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  41. I'm so sorry to hear that. We just suddenly lost our Sally a couple of weeks ago. She was a beautiful 14 yr old calico kitty, rescued her and her kitten 12 yrs ago, although we lost her kitten a couple years ago to kidney disease. She was fine one day, eating normal and playing like always. The next I recieved a phone call from mom asking if I could go the the house get her, because something just was not right. I hurried over, but it was snowing like crazy. I found Sally on the floor, not moving. I gathered her up, put her in the car and tried to hurry. She was having a hard time breathing, making little noises. I was rubbing her back, trying to comfort her and not crash in the snow at the same time. Sadly, it was too late, half way there the vet said she either had a heart attack, a stroke or a seizure. She was gone. Hardest thing I've ever had to expirience.

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  42. This could not have come at a better time! We just had to have my sweet, 20 year old Lucy put down because it was time. Much like Sally Boy, I waited for her to give me the signals that it was all just getting too hard, then I loved her and snuggled with her and that was it. It's only been a week and I feel like I still hear her slinking around! It's hard to let go of those precious fur balls that have been around through the good and the bad and in my case, half your life! You will know when it's time. :)

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  43. Crying, as per usual reading your blog. Sending love and hugs and peaceful comforting vibes to the entire dumpster clan. Making me think of my 14 year old wrinkle dog (sharpei) whose breed's life expectancy is 7. We're watching her closely, too. So very sorry for you guys.

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  44. Big, huge hugs. I'm so sorry. My heart understands the pain you are feeling. All he needs is everything he has.... your love. Xo

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  45. Sally Boy won't even THINK of leaving you until he's confident that you and DH will be adequately able to care for the children. Gahds, you probably don't even know how to lick the babies clean PROPERLY yet. When he knows you'll be okay, then he'll be okay too. Still feeling all the feelings, right?? Even when they're shitty ones. Sorry you're hurting. Love you. xoxo

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  46. Your heart is so incredibly big. Sally Boy is so, so lucky to be part of such an amazing family.

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  47. I am so sorry! Hugs to everyone. <3

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  48. We have gone through this ourselves in the last month. It is so hard and I am so sorry you have to go through it. You are absolutely doing what is best and right for you and for Sally Boy. My vet told me that I would know when it was time and she was right. One morning we woke up and just knew. I called the vet and we were able to let our sweet Ziggy go with dignity and love and respect. Not easy and my heart still hurts, but I KNEW it was the right thing to do and the right time to do it. I know you will be okay. (I am not linked with any of the ways to post so had to go Anonymous, but I am Janine and I send you lots of hugs and strength <3 )

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  49. My bestie lost her mom and year ago and her mom's cat started going downhill with kidney disease at the same time. Her dad couldn't stand the thought of losing them both and they have did everything they could to keep her going. She has done well for the last 10 months but has finally gotten to the point where they are having to do the home fluid IV's again. The vet assures them that the cat is not suffering by being put thru the IV's twice a day and her dad is suffering watching it. It's such a hard decision and also a very personal one. You will know when its right for Sally Boy so trust your instincts!!

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  50. Aich. My eyes are wet. Sorry, darling.

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  51. Sorry to hear about Sally Boy, but as hard as it is it is so much harder to watch them suffer, we have had to make that decision a few times and it is heart breaking to say good bye to your furry BF/baby...they know all your secrets and love you unconditionally and complete your family...I read somewhere animals lives are shorter because we are here to learn love and acceptance and they already know it so they don't have to hang around as long as we do :) hugs to you and yours! Enjoy every moment with your beautiful fur baby

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  52. There's not much worse than having to make that choice about our four-legged babies, especially when poor Sally Boy has been so instrumental at so many points in your life. Look up a poem called "Rainbow Bridge"...it was probably meant more for doggies but the same feelings apply here. Bless you for putting his peace & comfort first. Many happy thoughts & love & light to you, Miss Katie. XoXo

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  53. Here is the link to the Rainbow Bridge poem. Have Kleenex ready, but it beautifully describes what our beloved pets mean & how they'll always be with us...
    https://rainbowsbridge.com/poem.htm

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  54. I'm crying already. Maybe more than I cried when you birthed Hall & Oates. I heart Sally Boy and his family. Godspeed ginger feline. Be well. <3

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  55. It's hard even when you DO know you're making the right decision. We had to put our dog down after almost 15 years - the first pet my husband and I had as a married couple. My vet knew we were struggling with the decision and told me, "There comes a point when keeping them here with you becomes cruel. The best way to show her you love her is to do this."

    You'll know when it's time. Until then...Sally boy has two more people to love him!

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  56. I am so sorry :( I'd never dream of telling you what to do with him, but did want to mention that you could consider keeping some arsenicum on hand. It's a homeopathic remedy, and it will NOT hurt Sally Boy, but if he reaches a point where it's time for him to go and he just can't let you go, giving him a dose of it can help him transition peacefully and easily. It's not poison, it's not dangerous - a dear friend of mine is a holistic vet and this is one of her things. Rainbow Bridge, baby, and Sally Boy will *always* be with you <3

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  57. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You are an inspiration and Sally Boy is yours. With love, Tracy

    my Starbucks Kitty and My Princess were mine.

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  58. Sorry to hear that he's not going to be around to share the joy with the babies as they grow, but I'm sure he's enjoying the time he has now (especially since his mama is around a lot). Love him and enjoy the days while he's well enough- I'm with you on that. One thing- although the make up adds a spark of color, and that can be fun once in a while...your face is too lovely to mask on a regular basis. Truly, the happiness shines from within. Hugs to Sally Boy and those gorgeous dumpster babies!

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  59. I am crying here. so sorry you are having to go through such a rough time, give Sally some extra good scratches from a friend of the furry ones who understands your pain. and even without make up you look damn good! so does that little baby there :)

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  60. It's kind of strange that I read this blog today. (my damn email is a day late or something) This morning I had to leave work to rescue my dear mother at the vets office. Today we had to let our dear Buster-dog go. I conned mom into buying him when I was just out of highschool...yes we paid for a mutt. But that mutt has turned out to be my mother's dearest closest companion for 15 years. He was ugly as hell, and very prejudice...anything black, not just black people but anyone without white skin, black motorcycles, black rugs and hell even garbage bags just tore him up...but he has been my mother's rock even when I couldn't be. All this comes just two weeks after my family suffered a severe tragedy that has rocked us all to the core (it wasn't me this time though!) Any how...when I got to the vet I found my mother in her back seat holding this loaf of bread with tiny pencil legs who was shedding so bad everywhere it looked like it was snowing in the back of mom's grand prix....her best-human-friend and dog sitter next to her...Buster gave me that oh so human look and I knew that he knew. And I told mom he knew and it was ok. She said "yes, I know, he told me with his eyes" What I saw when I looked into that face that looks so much like Rodney Dangerfield was this..."My purpose in this life was to carry your mother through these tough times ahead...the one's you put her through and life in general...my purpose is done and I'm ready to rest" ~ I told mom he was ready and she said she knew. A few more serious tears and watching this oh so strong woman crumble before me, she was beautiful...vulnerable as I must have appeared to her so many times throughout this life. She stood up and said "I can't do this any more, lets get this over with"...we walked her in the office and she bravely said "I'm going in alone". I kissed him and said good bye and that was it. I'm sorry, not meaning to just blow up your blog today, but I guess I needed to type that out as I let the tears flow. You are so right, Sally Boy will let you know. He may finally feel like his duty is coming to a close and he can safely leave you to your own life now. Kind of how old women often hang on until all their affairs are in order and they've told everyone what they thought. Dumpster Diva, you are doing what is right regardless. I know your heart and your mama didn't raise no fool...Sally Boy is your spirit animal and what a wonderful thing you've experienced! I love you. Thank you for just being you.

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  61. Oh, how hard :( I am not looking forward to that day with my fuzzy buddy. Love the pic - I take as many pics as possible of Baby Grouch riding the kitty. Always hilarious.

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